Friday, April 1, 2016


Meet the newest Ferrari F1 driver!

Nixon Motor Sports announced on APRIL FIRST that they have successfully purchased Ferrari and the Scuderia Ferrari racing team that was previously based in Maranello Italy. Team spokesperson Brian Nixon stated that effective immediately he would move the company to Columbia SC and then personally replace four time world champion Sebastian Vettel as lead driver of the Ferrari F1 race car. There are also rumors that Brian would then pay himself a salary reported to be "Way Huge" and worth at least "infinity number of figures".

Ferrari engine with the "old" logo

"Everyone in the world is pretty much familiar with the famous prancing horse or Cavallino Rampante (pictured above)  of Ferrari, so we thought it was about time to bring the company into the modern era with a more appropriate logo". When questioned what the new logo might be, Nixon replied, "Oh, I don't know, maybe the University of South Carolina Gamecock would be cool, or something like a cute puppy or kitten since those are very popular on social media. Maybe we'll go with an ocean themed logo like a Hammerhead Shark."

An old "pre-NMS" Ferrari model

Asked if there would be any other changes to the Ferrari brand, Brian replied that "Well yeah, we're definitely going to bring Ferrari cars into Indy Cars series next year, and then we'll see if we can get those guys to consider doing something besides making their fans dizzy with all those circles they drive."

As far as how this would affect the business side of Ferrari (stock symbol "RACE"), Mr. Nixon stated "Heck yeah, we're updating that old name too, probably go with something like "Racey McRacey Face" to freshen things up a bit and keep it real".

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