Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Behold: TIMER MAN!

(This is the 2nd part in a continuing series of UNKNOWN SUPERHEROES of auto sports. Part 1 last year chronicled the adventures of CORNER CAPTAIN)

(Kyle Ray-Smith, Brian Nixon, and Kyle DeGennaro discuss the secret identity of TIMER MAN)

Infrequently seen, but always present at autocross and track races around the globe, TIMER MAN feverishly works in his Fortress of Sweatitude Trailer to ensure that the accurate timings of the automobiles piloted by mere mortals is accurately recorded for prosperity. While the drivers, their cars, and sponsors of these events take all the credit, glory, and riches, it is truly TIMER MAN behind the scenes that rules them all, with super powers that establish timing accuracy to the thousandth of a second.  Without TIMER MAN, auto racing would just be noise and flags, lacking a sense of order and tranquility. Without TIMER MAN, the teams would be lost in determining fastest time of the day, pole position, and even the dreaded "exceeded the 107% time of the pole sitter" exclusion penalty.

In his Fortress of Sweatitude during the entire day and night of events, TIMER MAN functions like a machine; a well-oiled-terminator-get-the-job-done-at-ALL-costs machine! Able to operate without food or water, it is unknown how TIMER MAN lives, though some say he absorbs energy from the electronic timing devices that surround him, others believe he drinks liquid electricity to power both himself the all important timing system.

Despite the limited understanding we may have of him, TIMER MAN does exist, and will continue to live for as long as there are cars to race, and drivers to drive them. 

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