Saturday, January 14, 2023

NMS Bids For New World HQ!

Artist's Rendering of New NMS HQ. 

Today we learned from very anonymous sources, unnamed, unknown, and possibly imaginary, that NMS is in negotiations to acquire a brand- new state-of-the-art facility for their world headquarters. While the exact details are not known, several articles in the press have revealed that a certain national chain of used cars has fallen on hard times and is currently sitting on several shiny and just built facilities that may never open. Our source would not name the business due to on-going operations and not wanting to get sued, but we've been told that it rhymes with "Carvana." 

Unknown building, future home of NMS?

Each Carvana facility consists of a unique glass tower storage elevator for automobiles, so it seems to be the perfect design for just about any automotive business. Most of the buildings are located next to major highways, so while the locations are not secret, they also serve a dual purpose as huge billboards that promote whatever business they house. With room for a garage and other facilities, it appears that NMS is on to a great idea if they can obtain the lease or purchase at a reasonable price. As we looked into this story, we found previously unknown financial statements that indicate the NMS team could likely, maybe, possibly, don't quote us on this, afford a new building in the six figure range. We define "six figure range" as up to approximately 1,000.00 Uzbekistani Som. In case you were not aware, the current exchange rate would value 1,000.00 Uzbekistani Som as nearly 9 US cents. NMS Chief of Financial Operations Julie Nixon would only state "Sure, we can afford 9 cents."

More to follow as this fable story unfolds. 

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