Thursday, June 27, 2019

NMS Announces HUGE Upgrade

At a secret location just outside of New York City, the NMS-North engineering team today announced their latest HUGE upgrade to the mighty 1.4 liter 160hp FIAT Abarth. Our reporter was there and filed this report, complete with NEVER BEFORE SEEN PHOTOS of how the installation took place.

After hearing rumors about some SECRET SAUCE that the NMS engineers were working on to improve performance, we were curious if it were true, and just how difficult it might be to improve upon the already mighty Abarth.

Probably for the FIRST TIME EVER ON THE INTERNET, we're going to show you this procedure.
You might be tempted to do this at home, but remember, these photos are for informational purposes only, do not try at home, these are trained professionals on a closed circuit operating in a high security clean room that is NOT OPEN TO THE PUBLIC!

Identify the windshield washer filler. You really don't want to be putting
washer fluid in your oil pan. 

NMS recommends the RED funnel. RED is the fastest color.

This special fluid is guaranteed to add horsepower, shorten braking
distance, and increase GDP by 10%. 

The cap is child resistant, so go find a 5 year old to open it. 

You can use some pliers or TNT to remove the cap, or, if you're Chuck
Norris, just use your hands. 

Car keys make a great tool for getting that final wrapper off. 

And there's always that last little bit that doesn't want
to come off. Take it off anyway so it won't end up clogging your
washer fluid lines. 

We like to live dangerously, and pour the fluid into the LARGE
end of the funnel. Try the other end if you want, we'll be happy to watch. 

All filled up? Don't forget to close the lid and then close the hood. 

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